Okay, I get it. “Out of the fire a phoenix rises” is a little dramatic for what happened. In case you didn’t hear my meltdown on social media about my blog, let me fill you in.
So one day I logged in and everything was gone. All my blog posts. All my pictures. All my design and formatting. It was just one big 404 error.
I’m not exactly sure what happened. I suspect that I made a mistake 4 years ago when I transfered my old URL content to current one and when I the old URL expired, it deleted everything.
I know there are a few ways I might be able to hunt down copies of my old page, but essentially I’m viewing this as a clean start. A forced complete do over. And I have a choice…I could sit in the ashes and mourn for what was, or stay forward focused and rejoice because I get to build something new.
There are many times in life where we are forced into a complete “do over”. Maybe we lose a job or a relationship. Maybe all our financial problems catch up with us or maybe our perception of the world gets shattered. There is usually an initial period of shock (for me it was from mid-August until now), but that choice has to be made. Are you going to wallow in the ashes or reemerge as a phoenix?
I have to option of abandoning blogging all together. I’m far enough along in my ministry work that I need to keep a webpage, but I don’t have to blog. But if I make that decision, it can’t be out of anger from losing my work or fear that it may happen again. That would be wallowing in my ashes. It would have to be from a decision that it simply no longer interested me or that it no longer suited my needs.
I also have the option of starting my blog again. But if that is the way I go, it can’t be because stopping would feel like I had failed.
Reemerging as a phoenix means moving forward, taking your wisdom from the past, but leaving all the fears and frustration behind. It means making decisions with a free and clear mind. It means being self-aware enough to know your true motivations and to separate what is right from what is comfortable. It is only then that you have any hope of building something that will endure and produce fruit.
And that is one of the amazing things we have as Christians. Christianity is a faith of resurrection. Because we have Jesus, we can be free from dragging our past with us. We are free to know there is something greater than our emotions. We can have faith that there is a power beyond ourselves that is stronger than us, smarter than us, and more good than we are. We know that truth is only subjective in our own heads and as Christians we have a relationship to the only One who sees the truth. We know that we don’t belong to this world, so we have no reason to cave to it.
All the baggage we feel like we need to carry around with us can be dropped at a moments notice. We understand that, at any moment, we can drop everything that once was us and, at least in our spirit, begin again. No one, as hard as they might try, can force us to carry our past with us. Yeah, there may be unforgiving jerkwads, and there may be consequences from our past, but we are assured that something bigger than us wipes our past, good and bad, clean every time we turn to Him.
So my decision is I’m going to keep blogging, at least for a while. If God gives me stuff to say, I’ll keep sharing it.
And to all of you who have hung with me through this crazy period of time, thank you! You are more appreciated than you will ever know!